Review: “If I had Legs I’d Kick You”
Written by Sofia Hernandez
Illustration by Molly Hunter
“If I Had Legs I’d Kick You” in a very intentional way with very specific cuts between scenes, but also purposeful close-ups to deepen the storytelling. One example is the transition from Linda in therapy with Stephen, where he recounts a dream about kissing her, to a scene of Linda in therapy with Conan O’Brien’s character, her therapist and co-worker. That scene opens with the line, “What difference is there?”, immediately raising the question: what is the difference between Stephen’s actions toward her and her own toward Conan’s character? Moments earlier, she had shared a similar dream with him, causing comparable discomfort. However, because we are not positioned within his perspective, we don’t fully grasp the weight of the situation until we experience it through hers. This shift challenges societal morals and highlights how limited perspectives often shape our judgments, whether we know only one side of a story or choose to ignore the other.
As I was going through the story, it never came to my mind that Rose Byrne’s character, Linda, was unlikeable, as it did for many others. It instead reminded me of many of the difficulties that some mothers face, and how they deal with the stress. There are key moments in the film where characters in the story who know nothing about her show disrespect to her. Although I do not justify her reactions and responses to some of the situations because they were oftentimes impulsive and emotionally immature, I still empathized with the fact that any human being under such pressure is bound to get to a point of explosion when it reaches its limit.
The progress of the story, combined with its obscure absurdist comedy, created an environment of constant tension and release as I was watching, anytime a moment allowed it. Again, I believe this was an intentional choice by Writer & Director Mary Bronstein; the reasoning behind it is for us as audience members to embody a similar state to Linda. For us, it was only a taste, and in my personal experience, one which created great discomfort. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it must have been like for her as the person experiencing it first-hand. Bronstein achieved a powerful connection to the lead character and a strong reaction, which created an unforgettable memory for the viewer.
With that said, I must recognize the phenomenal work actress Rose Byrne achieved. Every second in this movie was active and full of intensity; the physicality that a role like that requires and the specificity of the effect that every sequence had on her character were precise and realistic. A level of accuracy not many achieve, and if they do, it is out of hard work, preparation, and successful performance.
The movie was able to capture a perspective that many cannot relate to or fully understand, over the fact that it targets the story of a nontraditional movie mother, an absent but good-by-the-book father, a properly represented child (meaning one who throws tantrums, has realistic emotional reactions, gets overly excited, etc.), and an array of personalities from a variety of characters. Their dynamics surprised the audience because movies tend to show a fantasy world where things are better than they are in life, but the approach of the film is none other than the raw truth.
The worst possible outcome unfolds, steadily raising the stakes as tension builds, like gas filling a bubble that is bound to burst. Waves punching her body over and over, and the trauma of a patched-up roof that had a terrifying hole of consuming, destructive voices. A wake-up call. To have her open her eyes and finally, after 113 minutes of having her around but not being able to see her, we put a face to her daughter; we, from Linda’s eyes, finally see her child, the one thing that motivated her was the one thing she couldn’t really see, and when she does she understands the real meaning to what her child needs is her and only her, to then deliver the ending line “I will do better”.
Throughout my career, I’ve been constantly taught that a good storyteller is one who has a clear message and a powerful voice, and I can confidently say that Bronstein is one hell of a good artist. From acting, to directing, to writing, all propelled and supported by specificity, empathy, vision, storytelling, and intentionality; every single element was met and surpassed the expected, truly a masterpiece of